


The secret life of Sherlock Holmes

by Najil_sherlocked



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Dark Sherlock, John is a Saint, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Has Secrets, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson, Sherlock Is A Bit Not Good, mermaid sherlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-11-23 09:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11399856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Najil_sherlocked/pseuds/Najil_sherlocked
Summary: story has stopped, I am rewriting it, if interested look it up, same name, same theme ^^





	1. Almost time

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first time on this site and i'm so exited! I Always got these ideas and never a way to share them, well now I have :) it may start of a little bit slow and vague but it will get there! it will start off with a few short chapters :)

Sherlock took a deep sigh as he looked around his apartment. It looked the same as always. The same chairs, the same smile face on the wall and the same eyeballs in the fridge (he should really get those out some time soon) The sound of the door slamming shut echoed and resonated through the apartment. The strength of it was such that anyone would expect the weather to be accordingly violent - but the sun was shining and the air cool. Sherlock turned his head to see the sorce of the sound. John. Ofcourse it was John it always has been...  
"Oh finally that gives me your attention!'' he says as his arms move above him.  
"I've been screaming my tits off for the past 10 minutes and you just sit there like a bag of potatoes doing god knows what!'' he exlaims.  
Sherlock, not paying attention to any of John's words, takes a closer look at his face. What had been causing this sudden outburst? The bags under his eyes indicate the lack of sleep. Not something to be this mad about to. Move on then, there is a slight twitching of his eyes, annoyed then. But about what? Sherlock lifts himself on his elbows and takes a look at the kitchen. Ahh... he must have found the brains next to the meatballs, hopefully he didn't eat them, but then again it can be a common mistake.  
"How many times do I have to say it sherlock! No bloody experiments in the-''  
"They aren't even bloody John! They are perfectly frozen and shouldn't cause you any harm'' Sherlock says in a lazy voice.  
"Wha? no, no sod this! sod this Sherlock! Just don't put them in there!'' John almost screams.  
Sherlock takes a deep sigh and rolles his eyes. And people call him a drama queen. As Sherlock returns to his position on the coutch and returns to ignoring John, John grabs his jacket and leaves the apartment. Finally, Sherlock stands up and paces to the window seeing if his friend really leaves or comes back to sulk a bit more at him. When John leaves his sight he retreats himself to the calander hanging on the wall. It is almost time again... He really needs to work this out John can never know about this... about him.


	2. Dark souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! here is a second chapter, it is a bit dark to.

As Sherlock strides through his apartment he anxiously looks at the calander. Tomorrow it starts again. Just like it does every 4 years. God! why does this has to happen to him? Why not Mycroft, the idiot deserves this. Sherlock takes a deep sigh. He will be fine as long as he wont be near the water. It is just for 7 days after all... How hard can it be? The last time it happend he almost had some slip ups but the week had passed by quickly and no-one had found out his secret. Beside himself only Mycroft and his parents knew about it. Well in defence, his parents HAD to know about this because it was going on since he was 4 years old. It had been a burden ever since... And now he was a grown man. He couldn't hide in his apartment for the whole week he had a job to do... certainly it was getting harder and harder for the worlds only consulting detective to keep his private life in the dark now that he was getting more famous by the day... Almost every day the same old story. Journalists approuching him asking him all sorts of questions. Sure he enyojs the attention and that his intellectuel display is being admirred by so many people but in times like this it is just a pain in the arse. Nobody can know about him... nobody can know what kind of a freak he really is. People will start to repel him if they found out... and John... god John he would never want to talk to him again, ever. He would be disgusted by the man Sherlock really was and what he was, was a monster. It is in times like this that he feels depressed... He had been in love with his best friend for over a year now and he knows John could never feel the same for a monster like him... He could never love the thing that he really was. All these emotions all this sentiment is getting to much. All the people who ever called me a freak, all the beatings as a teen on my boarding school just because I was different, all the drugs I have taken to feel only a little bit more human, to feel, to be alive... but what hurts me the most is knowing that John... my John will never feel the same. Oh, if you could just see how bad I am doing right now. All the pain. In a world turned upside down nothing is how it is supposed to be John... And a heavy sadness fills my soul. I keep falling deeper and deeper within myself. And it feels like nothing, not even your funny little ways and your smiles, can show me out. It feels like it is always nighttime and nightmares and never morning. And mostly I try not to think about it, and try to get by, trying to survive. I've gone to Ella and had many secret therapy sessions with her. And by now I have heard pleanty of promises how things will get better but push hard enough and sooner or later the promises all turn out to be empty. I do not want the world to be pulled out from under me again like it did with the drugs oh so many years ago. But at the same time I lack the energy to move on. I feel like im trapped, trapped in my life of secrets. I feel like I am drowning John... All my life deep waters have followed me and I feel like I can not keep my secret life any longer for you... But knowing you will leave me when you know, breaks my heart. And I wish I could tell you all of it and that it wouldn't matter but who could ever love a mermaid.


	3. Sulking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! leave kudos and commets for motivation! :) If you see anything about my grammar that doesn't seem quit right, contact me about it

As Sherlock takes another look at the calender on the wall he takes a sigh. Today is the day... Ever since sherlock was born every 4 years there was one week that something would happen to him. It has been in his family for thousands of years now. Well the gene, nor his mother nor Mycroft nor his father seemed to be bothered with it exept for him. He heard his great grand mother also suffered from it. Whenever he came in contact with water he would turn, turn into something, according to sherlock self, something monsteres. But in fact, he would turn into a harmless half fish half man. Even the smallest drop of water would turn him so that meant, no drinking water unless it is with a straw. For some reason that did not turn him. No going outside when the clouds are dancing across the sky, to big of a chance it would start to rain and only take baths with the door closed.  
Sherlock starts pacing around the room. He can still see John being angry and leaving the flat yesterday, he hasn't returned ever since. Why? Normally John's temper would not last more than 3.5 hours at the worst. It wasn't even that big of a fight so there is no reason for him to stay out this long. Sherlock let's out a groan and let himself fall dramaticly on the couch. Maybe a fight with Harry? Who knows, the woman picks up a bottle whenever she gets the chance.  
Just as Sherlock is sulking over John he hears some footsteps on the staircase.  
John? No, his footsteps are more light and have got more of a pace to them. No these are Graham's, Gavin's? Case then, splendid! Just what he needs when he is in his merman week.  
"Oi Sherlock! How you doing?'' Lestrade says as he enters 221b.  
Sherlock let's out nothing more then a groan and starts facing the wall. Normally he would love to go on a case, the trill of the chase, the blood pumping through his veins! But he knows he can't go right now. To much of a risk.  
"I've got an interresting case for you, it is atleast an 8!'' he says as he tries to get the sulking child infront off him to pay attention ''I'm sure this will tickle ya a bit''  
Sherlock looks over his shoulder and sees Lestrade standing with one hand on his hip and the other in his hair. God is he desperate.   
" An 8 you say?'' sherlock asks but tries to sound as bored as possible. Normally he would love these cases and would be out on his feet as soon as possible. But he can not do it right now... or can he? What could go wrong? By the look of Lestrade's feet he can see dry dust, so not any where near water and it is a clear and sunny day. Maybe, just maybe he could give it a try. It is better than sulking about John all day.   
"Okay i'll be right behind you in a cap, text me the adress'' sherlock says as he stands up and strides into his bedroom to change.  
"Oi!'' lestrade says as he walks down the stairs once more.  
"Finally something to get up for'' Sherlock mutters to himself.  
As Sherlock changes he hears a loud noice coming from the living room. He takes an annoyed sigh and walks to the source.   
"For god sake Lestrade I said I would come by myse-'' Sherlock looks up at the person who made the noise. '' Oh hello John, decided to come home after all?'' Sherlock says half joking.  
"well erm... Yeah '' John says clearing his throath "So a case then?''   
"YeP'' Sherlock says popping the P.  
"Better, I'm getting kind of annoyed by all your fridge experiments John says with a half smile crossing his features.  
Sherlock let's him show a half smile himself and puts on his Bellstaf.  
"Let's go John, Lestrade is desperate for this to be solved'' He says as he strides down the stairs.


	4. Crime scene gone wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys,hope you like this story so far, like I said before, it is my first time writing a fanfic, I would love some feedback!:)

They arive at the crime scene and Sherlock jumps out of the cap out of exitement wich leave John to pay, like always. Sherlock strides with John by his side to the scene and can't help but look at John for a minute and admire his beauty. God since when did he love this man so much? was it when he killed a man for him? Was it when they met? Was it because their weekend away in Baskerville? All at once I believe.  
"Sherlock!'' Sherlock hears coming from the other direction and he immidiatly snaps back to reallity. Lestrade was calling him and by the look on his face he had already done it a few times and was getting annoyed.   
"Ahem'' Sherlock clears his throath "Right show me the body'' he demands.  
Lestrade leads them to the body and Sherlock directly goes into deduction mode and get out his magnifying glass. He takes a closer look at the body and can see multiple signs of suffication.   
Sherlock takes a deep sigh '' Lestrade I thought you said this was an 8!'' He almost exclaims "This is nothing more than a bloody 4!'' Sherlock says as he stands up and puts his tools back in his Bellstaff. "It was the brother ofcourse'' Sherlock says as he walks a bit away from the body '' idiots'' he mutters to himself. But John didn't seem to think of it as a 4 because the minute sherlock spatted out his deductions he flattered him with some ''brilliants!''. This made Sherlock's cheecks flutter with a crimson blush.   
"Ah crap!'' Anderson curses from behind damn.  
"What is it?'' John asks.  
"Think it's starting to rain'' Anderson says as he looks into the sky.  
Sherlock looks up to the sky and sees some grey clouds above them. Crap, he was so taking into all the crime scene stuff he did not pay any attention to the weather.  
"God no'' Sherlock says accedentaly outloud.  
"Ah don't be like that sherlock, it is just a little bit of rain'' Lestrade says as he joins the conversation.  
Sherlock looks around him anxiously. He sees nowhere to hide from the rain exept the outsticking side of the roof above the body in the allyway. He looks at the other side if there is a cap nearby but it is to late, the rain is starting.  
As Sherlock feels the first drop of water hitting his head he curses deep with in himself. He dries it of as quickly as he can because once the water has hit him, he has 1 minute before he transforms into the merman, unless he dries it off. Once he dried it off he quickly ducks under the little roof sticking out in the allyway above the body and tries to hug the wall so he won't be hit by the rain.  
"What the hell are you doing sherlock?'' John asks confussed.  
"Rain'' is all that Sherlock says.  
"Oh don't be such a baby Sherlock it is just a little bit of rain, it won't do you any harm'' John says trying to be symphatic.  
"But it will" says Sherlock as he anxiously looks at the rain hitting the ground next to him.  
"Sherlock you are literally almost standing on the body, move'' Lestrade says.  
"I won't'' says sherlock as he hugs the wall a little bit more.  
"Don't be such a child'' Anderson says.  
"Shut up Anderson even your insults are lowering everyone's IQ as we speak'' Sherlock spats  
"Oh for god sake stop sulking both of you'' John says as he pulls Sherlock out from the protectet place.  
"NOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Sherlock yells as he takes a glance around him. There is no way he can dry this all of he needs to think now! He looks in the allyway and sees a wall seperating the other side of the ally, if he is lucky enough there will be a container on the other side of it where he can hide.   
Sherlock makes a run to the wall and takes a long jump up to the wall before disapearing over it. Yes! there is a dumpster, it is his only way to hide from the rest, from John. They can't possibly find out about this. As sherlock quickly jumps into the dumpster and closes the cover he can feel his body transforming. He can feel his bones starting to shatter in his body and his legs becoming one. Once he looks up at his legs again the pain of transforming is gone and he can see his tail. It is blue and purple and makes him think of bruises.   
"Horrible'' Sherlock silently mutters to himself.  
"SHERLOCK!'' He can hear John shouting his name, probably wondering where he is. Please god do not look in the container. John will despise me for this.  
"SHERLOCK!'' the sound is now coming from closer by, probably next to the container. Sherlock holds his breath, to nervous to make any movement or sound.   
As he hears footsteps of people passing by the container and dissapearing into the distant Sherlock gets out his phone and the waiting progress begins... He will need to wait for the rain to stop and for himself to become dry before he can even consider going back to his apartment. Sherlock takes a deep sigh. John will never love him like this... even love him at all! After the fall... after all they have been through... nothing has been the same. John still is mad at him about it. How can he not? I shouldn't have left him in the dark.   
Sherlock rolls a bit in the container, trying to get comfortable. This is where I am ment to be... in the thrash.


	5. 221b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! sorry for not updating for a while here is the new chapter! tell me what you think!

After 1 hour the rain finally stopped tip tapping on the cover of the container and after 2 more my tail dissapeared and made room for 2 long legs.  
I take a deep sigh and make my way out of the container, making sure I do not touch any wet stones or edges. I make my way out of the allyway and start walking into the direction of 221B. Part of me can't wait to be in my familiar cosy home, sitting by the fire place, experiment on some toes. But on the other hand I'm afraid of John reaction. I did just jump over a wall and they assumed I ran away... Idiots didn't even think about checking the giant container but it all turned out well. What do I say to John?  
"For god sake" I say frustrated as I walk down the street, making an old grumpy lady turn around to look at me with a stern look.  
"Oh don't look at me like that you old tang! You clearly aren't mad at me but at your hairdresser going by your right sleeve'' Sherlock sput out his deduction. The old lady gasped but walked on quickly. How was he ever going to explain this to John?

As Sherlock stepped into the good old 221B he could hear John upstairs shouting at someone. Who can it be? Misses Hudson? No she clearly went out for some new shampoo, Gravin? No he can only hear one voice and clearly Graham wouldn't take the shouting without having a say back. Phone? That's probably it.  
Sherlock makes his way upstairs and opens the door.  
"John would you stop shouting at the poor device clearly it hasn't done anything to harm you in anyway'' Sherlock said with a bored voice.  
John looks up at sherlock and throws the Phone on the table "What the hell Sherlock! You ran away from the crime scene and were gone for hours!''  
"Like I haven't done that before'' Sherlock said as he hanged up his coat and made his way to his chair.  
"Never like this Sherlock!'' John shouted, shacking his head ''never like this'' he said in a more silent voice.  
As Sherlock sat down in his chair he looks up at John, his John who is shouting at him out of fustration? no, something more... sentiment. Worry? oh... He is worried about me. Sherlock shifts awkwardly in his chair. John worried about me?  
Sherlock blinks rappidly and John looks at him in confusion.  
"Sherlock? Are you alright?'' John says letting himself sit down in the chair oppesite. There is no responce.  
"Sherlock you know you can talk to me right?'' John says a bit worried.  
"You...'' Sherlock tries but goes silent again.  
"I... what?''  
"You... are worried about me'' sherlock stattes.  
Now it is John's time to blink a few times.  
"Uhm..." He clares his throath '' ofcourse... ofcourse I was worried Sherlock, you took of like a maniac!''  
"But why? Why would it worry you? Sherlock asks.  
"Because you are my friend, my best friend for that and I... Well I care about you, Sherlock'' John says, with a hint of pink on his face.  
Sherlock can not help but feel his stomach turn at John's words... in a good way though. John cares about me is all that is going on inside his head.  
"I care about you to, John'' Sherlock says a bit shyly.  
John response with a smile. And silence takes over once again. All that men can hear is the sound of the water drops tickling the windows.  
"So uhm'' John clears his throath "Wanna go to Angelo's? I'm starving"  
Sherlock can not help but smile at the words, he loves Angelo's it is his and John's favorite restaurant. Sherlock is about to say yes when he notice the rain outside. For god sake not again...  
"I- I can't'' Sherlock says a bit dissapointed.  
"Oh alright, we can go to the Chinese if you feel up for that?'' John tries.  
"No, sorry'' Sherlock says looking out of the window.  
John can't help but notice that Sherlock is looking at the rain. A thought crosses his mind.  
"Sherlock?'' John asks.  
"Hmmh?'' sherlock responces not looking away from the dartling rain.  
"What is it with you and the rain today? You seem like your about to shit your pants everytime it starts'' John says a bit worried "Are you afraid of it?''  
Sherlock turns scarlet at Johns words "D-don't be an idiot John ofcourse I'm not scared for a bit of rain'' Sherlock tries to say in a mocking voice but fails.  
"Right" John says turning his head to the windows "Right"  
Sherlock glares at John from the cornor of his eyes. He should tell John what is going on... He has the right to know. But now is not the time... He will freak out, run away, yell at him, be afraid of him, think of him as the monster he so clearly is... He can not tell John. Not like this.  
"There may be some issues... with the rain but I do not wish to speak about that at the moment, please'' Sherlock says in a defeating voice.  
"Alright, that is alright. Just so you know... I am here and you can always talk to me'' John says with a little smile.  
God John is so beautiful when he does that. Maybe he thinks the same about me... Only if he knew what kind of monster I am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/433649834-the-secret-life-of-sherlock-holmes-secrets-to-hold Also on wattpad :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) for people who were following this story I stop it and write it all over again because I did not like where it was going. So if you guys are interested, the new story is up, same name, same theme

read notes


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